meta talk cafe
  • meta talk blog
  • about

Have we met?

2/3/2012

0 Comments

 
_I had a call with a partner this week. (Some context: His assistant scheduled the call, because he needed to interview me to do due diligence for an award submission. Partners are the senior-most people in the company, and I am few levels below!)

He started the call by asking me, “Have we met?”

[If my life were a beautifully-scripted play, I’d have responded coyly, “Oh, you’d remember me if we’d met!” But, alas, the dialogue of my life is not so tight.]

Of course, I was polite and continued with the conversation. (No, we had not "met" before that phone call.) But as we talked, I was silently processing the comment, “Have we met?”

Here’s what I took it to mean:

·                  Have we met? --> Because I cannot possibly be expected to remember you

·                  Have we met? --> Because you’d remember me for sure, but I have more important data to archive in my memory

Of course, there’s a chance he had no arrogant intent. And there’s a chance he is clueless as to how this question came across…but I can’t think of a better POWER PLAY to start off a conversation! Aside from the fact that questions in and of themselves are power plays—i.e., the person who asks the question sets the agenda, and dictates the focus of your response—in those three words, he’s in charge! At best, I am positioned to brief him. At worst, I am little spec he can’t be bothered to remember.

Positioning in conversation. It’s a powerful weapon! And you’re always positioned vis-à-vis something or someone else. There’s no way to position yourself in isolation. So watch where you point that thing!

And if, after reading this, you fear you may be clueless as to how you come across, please ask someone for feedback.

 

Davies, B. and Harré, R. (1990). 'Positioning: The Discursive Production of Selves.' Journal for the Theory of Social Behavior, 20 (1), 43-63

 

Harré, Rom and Van Langenhove, Luk (eds) (1999). Positioning Theory: Moral Contexts of Intentional Action. Malden: Blackwell

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

      Subscribe to this blog!

    Submit

    Blog List 

    Language Log
    Lang 101
    The Linguist List
    What a Linguist Knows

    Archives

    May 2020
    November 2019
    September 2018
    February 2018
    April 2015
    February 2014
    November 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    July 2012
    February 2012
    December 2011
    December 2010

    Categories

    All
    Advice
    Branding
    Business
    Compliments
    Cross Cultural
    Customer Service
    Dispersed
    Economy
    Family
    Intercultural
    Jargon
    Linguistics
    Marketing
    Networking
    Politeness
    Positioning Power Workplace Conversation
    Virtual
    Workplace

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.